Possible continuation of this:
Was trying to do something. Don’t know if I achieved it. Oh well.
Childish (NSFW) or 5 Minutes
Imagine Ymir and Christa just had sex for the third time. Ymir was finally able to read Christa’s nuances and give her mind blowing orgasms on the table again and again and again with her hands and then her mouth and then both at the same time. Christa is panting and can barely move. She is limp against Ymir who is holding her tight and kissing her lightly across her forehead. They stay like this a while until Christa’s heartbeat slows down. “Want to go to the bed?” Ymir asks. Christa nods and shifts to get down, but the other girl gently stops her.
She guides Christas arms to wrap around her neck. “Hold me.” And without further warning Ymir lifts her up like a babe. This is the first time Ymir has done this but the feeling is familiar. A warm sense of nostalgia washes over her. She has a sudden memory of when she was a child. It used to be a blur but now she remembers a soft afternoon glow and being cradled in loving arms as they walked around a nursery. She remembers someone stroking her hair affectionately. Was it her mother? Her father? Why is this coming back just now? All Christa remembered up to this point of her childhood was being an outcast. Harsh whispers and stares that she didn’t understand, only that when it came to her she was treated differently. Her illegitimacy the only thing that people saw. This is her first memory of actually being wanted. Christa clings to Ymir.
She actually doesn’t like being picked up. She was so small and it was so easy to do so since everyone was bigger than her. She didn’t like being treated like a child. Helpless and a jarring reminder of unpleasant memories.
But here like this, just her and Ymir, she felt safe. Even thought her mind was telling her it was absurd, for the first time, in a very long time she felt home. Isn’t that what that meant anyway? Not where you were born but where you are welcomed? Oh come on, how can she be sure Ymir even wants her that way? This could all just be a passing fling for the darker haired girl.
Ymir walks slowly, eyes adjusting to the dark. She shifts to get a better hold on Christa. She is careful in her steps. Christa listens to her steady breathing all through out. Her actions earlier showed quite the opposite. But what if she changes her mind? Cherished just once for a fleeting moment and suddenly discarded for the rest. Why should her life story change now? These fears creep up as they reach the bed. She’s doesn’t want this to end yet.
Ymir moves to lay her down but Christa holds on tighter without thinking. She feels selfish. “Christa?” Ymir is puzzled. Instead of being suspended in an awkward position where someone she’s carrying refuses to let go, Ymir sits backward on the bed with Christa straddling her lap. Without her shirt Ymir immediately feels the dampness on her shoulder where Christa buried her head.
"Christa?" she repeats more urgent. Ymir cups her cheek and moves her to look at her face. She’s acting like a silly child and she knows it. Her anxiety growing by the moment and she doesn’t know what to do. Too late she already set things in motion by not letting go. She suddenly realized they never talked about this, why did she assume and add attachments to everything already. That sex automatically meant caring. How naive. This could all be just casual to Ymir. She could just walk away and that should be perfectly all right because Christa is not a child. She should be used to this. Why is she breaking now? She can’t even hold in her tears. Ymir is probably so turned off that she can’t be a grown up after doing such a grown up thing. Where did all this come from? That stupid long lost memory?
The other girl is persistent and tugs. Christa finally looks up. ”What’s wrong?” The look on Ymir’s face was pure worry and concern. Christa lets out a long held breath as she looks into the taller girl’s eyes. It was all in her head. Maybe Ymir doesn’t love her like she does but this look she’s giving her she knows at the very least Ymir doesn’t see her as an illegitimate burden. Ymir won’t hurt her like that. She won’t toss her aside like her family did. She knows how that feels. That’s enough for now.
"Nothing. I’m sorry. I’m being silly." Christa tries to hide that she just had a sudden panic attack over something stupid. Ymir is unconvinced. "Did I hurt you?"
"What? No!" Christa is surprised. How could she think that. Ymir was nothing but gentle with her. "No you’re so good to me."
Ymir’s face was still scrunched up looking at her. She wasn’t going to stop without an answer. “I…” Christa starts. Tell her what you want. “I… can I just stay here for 5 minutes?” She buries her face in Ymir’s neck again. Shy at her childish request.
Ymir doesn’t understand what’s going on but she instinctively holds Christa closer. “Like this?” she asks the girl in her arms. Christa nods “Yeah, just for 5 minutes.Ifthats okay?” Ymir smirks. She believes that this is what was bothering her. “You are being silly.” Christa flinches but Ymir strokes her hair comfortingly. “As long as you want, Christa.” She kisses her ear. “As long as you want.”